Infographic: Infertility

Recently, I was asked in my capstone class to make an infographic about population I'll be working with during my class. It was so much fun researching and designing infographic for my class I wanted to make one for infertility. I want to shine a lite and awareness about infertility as it does affect 1 in 8 couples in US. I hope this is informative and helpful for anyone who like to understand this silent struggle that couples face. 

*"17% of women seeking infertility treatments struggle with depression compared to 6% of other patients" This is not a reflection that depressed people are infertile, but rather that infertility is an emotional rollercoaster, therefore, some women fall into depression because of

infertility. 

--Made with piktochart.com

"I Will Have To Wait"

Last Sunday while sitting in sacrament meeting pondering, I felt this warm feeling when I started to think about something that I felt was given to me as inspiration years ago—it was after I lost my first pregnancy. I had a feeling that came to me as a thousand words in a split second, revealing to me what would become my now long trial. I felt that my loss will not be saved by an instantaneous blessing of motherhood, but that I will have to wait. 

The first weeks of my first pregnancy were all smiles and joy. I googled every single name there is on the planet, looking for the perfect name for our future boy or girl. Everyday, I was thinking about my baby in my belly. I would get books to read about baby development and how to eat right and be healthy. My world turned to this tiny, raspberry sized baby, who had taken me to a new world I never knew existed. The evening when I started to spot, I called my mother-in-law, who had lost pregnancy before to consult with her what I should do and if it was normal. The next morning, I called my doctor, and he sent me to the hospital to get my blood drawn. On the way home, my cramping became very sharp and I knew the baby was now gone. I came home, had my body complete it's natural thing. Brad took me to a restaurant and I got myself cotton candy to cheer me up.

During pregnancy, there were a couple of social things I had experienced from individuals that broke my heart. When I announced my pregnancy, some people took it hard, or were not happy for me; I was told that my pregnancy didn't matter until I passed through the first trimester. Around that time, I felt as though I was the only one on cloud nine about this pregnancy. Their words^{(D&C 122:7)} ached my heart, especially when I did miscarry. However, Heavenly Father turned my heart to another direction and asked me to never make anyone feel the way I felt when I was pregnant. I made a promise to myself to celebrate life and celebrate expecting mothers like I wanted to be celebrated. 

Years followed, my husband and I moved from state to state, and yes I had many oppositions and tears. I watched my friends get married and have babies, and I was excited for them. I felt joy watching them receive their precious spirits. Soon, I got nieces and nephew, and they became my world (even though I live far away from all of them). I felt that if I couldn't enjoy the blessings of having my own children, I could love children that were given to me through other people. Through this trial, I truly was given a way to ease my pain and burden by serving and loving children around me. Though, after long long years of waiting and celebrating, and seeing that my dream has not being fulfilled, some celebrations were harder to celebrate. Some required all my strength to feel happy and celebrate with the expecting mother, that sometimes, I would need to lie on the floor and cry praying for strength to make it through this trial and not become bitter.  

Sheri Dew's talk "Are We Not All Mothers" helped me keep my perspective when times became difficult.

"When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us." 

It is in our divine nature as women to be mothers, before our dream is realized. 

May we be courteous to others happy times, because they deserve yours love and celebration. Plus, you get to PARTY too!

💝

Awaiting

This Thanksgiving year Brad and I ponder about what God has given to us that blessed us. The year of 2014, is an incredible year for both of us.

We grew so much from each areas of life.

We learned how to live away from family, which was really hard to accept at first, but eventually we came to appreciate the time we had making friends outside of our comfort zone. We noticed that we like the independence from family. Now, now, don't get all huffy and puffy. Its been a healthy journey for us. I feel we became even more unified as a couple living away from family. However, now we want to live by family desperately. Oh, how we miss going to one of the families Sunday dinner or a holiday get togethers. 

We learned how to buy our first home! Tough, scary, exciting process. 

We learned that having higher education can really pay off after graduation. Not only that, but the growth you go through your first job. Brad has learned so much that will benefit him at his second job.

This year we went through really high and some low points. It was great working for HP, but now we need to move on to our next chapter in life. Coming to Georgia was part of Heavenly Father plan, but couple of months ago Brad and I felt like we needed to move on, as if our work is done in Alpharetta GA. Now, we are awaiting for Heavenly Fathers timing to sent us to wherever we will be happy. 

Expecting Trials

Through suffering Jesus Christ was made perfect. We have trials so that we might get close to Heavenly Father, who is perfect.

It is recorded that Jesus was made perfect through suffering. If he was made perfect through suffering, why should we imagine for one moment that we can be prepared to enter into the kingdom of rest with him and the Father, without passing through similar ordeals? (Brigham Young,Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1941], 346).

This quote hits my heart hard, because I don't want to pray for trials. Most of my prayers consist of help me with this, bless this, protect this, help this person, and so on. I topically don't ask for opposition, pain, or to be forsaken. I think it is the hardest thing to ask is for a trial. I know what the benefits from trials are. We build patients, charity, humility, love, devotion, understanding, and faith. As trial end, we can see ourselves as a new person. However, somehow we don't like suffering. Only one time in my life that I prayed for a trial, and it was the hardest, longest trial I have ever went through. Though, I learned things about myself that helped me make difficult decision, to deeply love, and understand their suffering. I know how it feels when there is nobody to turn, but the Lord. It's the most humbling experiences is when you throw yourself in His arms, with little faith that you have that He is there to catch you. Sometime all you can do is to pray and pray, hoping that somewhere in the world he is preparing a way for an "exit." I grew closer to the spirit. I know who He is. I understand atonement more clearer. I understand how powerful the temple can be. I understand why I need to visit the temple more often. Jesus Christ does reside there. You can be healed from the most dramatic experiences in your life through the temple. Give any problem to the Lord, and he will take care of it. 

How can you and I really expect to glide naively through life as if to say, “Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!”  (Neal A. Maxwell,Ensign, May 1991, 88).